If you feel your self-worth depends on how others perceive you and you're always striving for other people's approval, you may have a problem with codependency. This means you may struggle to establish your identity and find yourself in unhealthy relationships, among other issues. That’s not how it has to be when you can visit Litsa Bradford, a licensed psychotherapist, at her Santa Barbara office or schedule an online visit for therapy.
Signs You Have Codependency Issues
A codependent person may be constantly trying to please others and have difficulty saying no. You may have overstretched yourself to help those around you so you don’t have conflict with anyone. In the process, you may neglect your own needs and become burnt out. Even if others are taking advantage of you, you'll still devote your time and energy to them.
While having empathy and compassion are vital attributes, codependency could mean feeling personally responsible for the problems other people experience.
Without the love and approval of others, you have a poor perception of yourself. You strive to feel needed by others and often will feel that it's necessary to "rescue" those who have problems.
Codependency can have you fearing abandonment or loss of control.
Ultimately, when you're codependent on others, you might also suffer from anxiety or depression.
Why It Happens
Growing up with one or both parents who had substance abuse disorders, were neglectful or emotionally unavailable, or had a mental health challenge could lead to codependency problems. Sometimes, the problem originates from trauma or witnessing a parent who was dependent on the other one.
Treatment Approaches
You can break the cycle of co-dependence and go on to have healthy relations with others through therapy with a counselor like Litsa in Santa Barbara. Through therapy, you'll build your self-esteem so you won't rely on somebody else for your happiness and value.
We’ll work on identifying the thoughts and behaviors contributing negatively to your life and replace them with positive ones.
Your treatment may consist of examining the situations that contributed to your codependency and processing the emotions associated with them. You’ll also practice being assertive and setting boundaries.
Begin Therapy for Codependency Issues
People who want help with codependency may visit Lisa’s Santa Barbara, CA, office or book a virtual visit. Through therapy, you can build the confidence to care for yourself enough to have a balanced relationship and become more independent.