EMOTION
|
PURPOSE |
OVER-REACTION |
UNDER-REACTION |
Fear | Protect, defend, seek help | Paranoia, incapacitated, avoid, miss opportunities | False bravado, take unnecessary risks, ridicule others |
Hurt Feelings | Reflect, self-soothe, seek support, reassess | Avoid risks, isolation, blame self/others, stuck as victim | Aloof, cold, unsympathetic |
Anxiety | Head’s up, something is wrong, find the problem, reassess what you can control | Overwhelmed, numb, inattentive, jumpy, exhausted, irritation/anger | Aloof, cold, lethargic, avoidance, poor performance |
Anger | Stand up for self/others, be brave, right a wrong | Aggression, seek revenge, blame others, resentment | Taken advantage of, routinely exploited, anger expressed in unrelated areas |
Sad | Be reflective, take time to understand and heal, learn | Depression, self-abuse, neglect others, withdraw/isolate | False positivity, unsympathetic to others in pain, pressure others to “be happy” |
Happy | Energized, fun, enthusiasm, makes life worth living | Unwise risk-taking, mania, lose sight of big picture, become selfish | Anxiety/fear of joy, feel undeserving, look down on happiness as naïve (cynical) |
EMOTION |
PURPOSE |
OVER-REACTION |
UNDER-REACTION |
Love | Commitment, connection, safety, loyalty, self-worth, interdependence, find joy in others | Over-dependence, lack of boundaries, enmeshed, self-neglect, over-giving, martyrdom | Push/pull connection, resists vulnerability, feels trapped, keeps distance |
Frustration | Compelled to make changes, make decisions, fix things | Rage, aggression, blame, indecision/paralyzed | Always gives in, feels powerless, blames self for the problem |
Embarrassment | Self-conscious, make corrections, self-awareness | Intimidated, escape/withdraw, self-shaming, lash out | Lack of self-awareness and/or social cues, grandiose |
Curious | Learn new things, explore new horizons | Intrusive, nosey, invasive | Sees self as less smart or more smart than others, avoids new situations |
Guilt | Make amends, take responsibility, problem-solve | Self-shaming, overwhelmed, self-loathing | Anti-social behavior, lack of empathy, exploitive |